This week I want to share another short piece with you. It is a little reflection that I wrote recently about my struggles with moving on and the remnants that haunt me. I think it might resonate with some of you struggling with loss, change, and moving on. I hope you enjoy it.
Persevering Remnants
Sometimes, memories of a man who looks like me, talks like me, and occasionally acts like I would come to mind. These memories feel like a distant remnant or a vivid dream that refuses to fade away, clutching to the nostalgia in my heart.
This man is a stranger, a distant memory I can’t relate to, a remnant of a past self that perseveres in my consciousness.
Sometimes I stare at the mirror, looking for him, but I can’t find him in my reflection. No matter how hard I search inside of my being, I can’t see him. He is gone, and there is nothing I can do about it.
He will never return, as he is dead, and only these traces of him remain in me. I am what’s left of his hopes, values, and aspirations. And those, those I do recognize.
I feel for him, as he must have had people who loved him, laughed, and even cried with him. They might still think he’s among us, waiting for him to be there if we ever cross paths again. But he is now forever out of their reach.
I can’t help but feel that the me that exists now will also become a remnant to a future version of me. A stranger who might not mourn me or fully understand who I was. A better version of me, more capable than I ever could, will take my place. And the only thing I can do right now, the only thing worth doing, is to make sure that my hopes, values, and aspirations remain recognizable to him.
He might not recognize me, but I know that he will still be me.
I am next, and for now, it’s just the wait.
This little reflection is the result of my latest attempt at meditating about the nature of life, death, and trauma. Events that eventually force us to grow, adapt, and sometimes leave a part of ourselves behind.
I’m sharing it with you today because I think it can help you if you are struggling with trauma, becoming an adult, or moving on in life.
An Essence that Perseveres
Despite being rather sorrowful and heavy, I feel there is a positive message in this reflection. Doing the hard work of following through with my values, listening to my heart, and developing emotionally and psychologically helped me become the person I am now. That person might be unrecognizable to who I was years ago, but the essence of who I am perseveres.
What’s more, when you help others grow and develop as human beings, part of that essence is born inside them and becomes a part of who they are. So essentially making your essence, the best part of your being, immortal.
That is what I aspire to do with my work. Live a life worth emulating. Become an example of how to live fully, happily, and simply. Eventually, leaving behind a blueprint of a life others would want to emulate on their own, not because of hedonism or excess, but the lasting joy and satisfaction. All of which can’t be ignored.
Let us know your thoughts and experiences. We would love to hear from you and learn how to be better.
Cover photo by Jonatán Becerra on Unsplash
